Do I Stay or Do I Go?

Do I sa=tay or do I go?
Untold oppurtunities and experiences,
Will come to me if I go
But with that comes the fear of the unknown.
What will I find there?
Will I like it?
Will it work better with me than this does?
Will I actually be able to be happy there?

So many questions that I can't answer,
Without that leap of faith
If I take that leap of faith,
Over that dark ledge,
I can either land on soft grass,
Or fall and not be able to get back up

Without that leap of faith,
I will never know

So the question really becomes,
Do I stay or do I go?

Just Friends

I like this
We are talking,
We are joking around,
We are telling secrets,
I like being friends with you again.

I thought I had lost you,
But now I realize it was just my stupidity,
That prevented us from being friends,
That awkwardness I always had,
When I talked to you,
It's gone now

Maybe we were just meant to be friends,
Maybe the relationship was a mistake,
And everything is how it should be again

Haunting

And there the dream sits,
Taunting,
So possible,
So perfect
So completely unreachable.
I wish I was still sleeping
I wish I could sleep all the time,
When I sleep everything is perfect,
When I sleep, everything is right in the world.

And so here the dream sits,
Haunting my every thought,
Laughing at my misfortune,
And inability to achieve it.

Let Go

Learn to let go,
Learn to live,
Learn to love,
Learn to laugh

Learn to let go of those problems,
Learn to live your life,
Learn to love those who love you,
Learn to laugh just to feel good,

Let go and live life loving and laughing.

White Rose

Pure white,
Unmarked,
Untainted,
Thorns sharp enough to draw blood,
Petals soft enough to sleep on,
Fogiveness in a time of war,
Marked by a white rose

Wholesome beauty,
Supple goodness,
Peace and harmony in a time of battle

Thank You

Reading your words,
It makes me cry,
Knowing that someone cares,
Knowing someone is watching,
Knowing someone is scared,
Almost as scared as me
This path is dangerous,
My life is hanging on,
But the thread holding me,
It just turned to rope

Thank you.

Blade to Skin

Like a burning ember dragged across my chest,
Blade to skin,
Like a boat on a lake,
Slicing through,
Gentle,
Calm,
Easy,
Smooth,
As a catapillar gliding across a leaf,
Munching away as he squirms,
Tiny legs cutting up the surface,
Of the object that supports him.

X Marks the Spot

Thin white lines,
Crossing, crossing,
All over my skin,
White on tan,
Crossing, crossing,
Thin white lines

X marks the spot,
The spot of my insanity,
X marks the spot of my desires and losses,
My insanity is bred,
From that little white X
Marking the spot of insanity.

Repeating, repeating,
Never ending,
Fly, fly, fly,
They yell
Into the thick air,
Fly away and show why those scars are there

Smiling

I don't smile when I am alone
I don't laugh
I cry
I don't sing
I sigh
I don't smile when I am alone
Because the few times I do smile,
It is fake
I'm sick of it being fake
I want to be happy again.
I want to go back there,
To that place that makes me so happy.
I want to smile again.

I Missed You

See you again,
It makes me wonder,
What are you like as a person?
Have you felt pain,
Like I have?
I hope you haven't
I hope you are a good person
I want to know you again
I want to meet you again
I want to love you again
I want to run into you,
And restart our friendship all over again.
I missed you.

Delete

"I still love you. I hate that. I want to stop. Why can't you let me rest and be at peace? Why cant you let me love someone else? Why do you start these meaningless conversations that make it seem like you just want to talk because you miss me. I know you dont. Miss me I mean. And I know he wouldn't miss me either. But he is worth a try. You had your shot and you missed. Then I start wondering if you meant to miss. Did I really mean that little to you?"

And then I pressed delete.

This is All

This is all,
This is it,
This is all you will find on me
This is the only proof you have,
That I'm a person too

We haven't met in years,
We used to be best friends,
I loved you first,
Out of anyone else.
I missed you so much

You are very different now,
You look so old,
You look like the man,
I always knew you would be and,
You still look like the boy I loved

This is all you will find,
Of my heart
This is all you will find,
Of me
This is all