Guardian Angel

You are my savior,
The light that fills me,
When the dark creeps in
The magic that touches me,
When the witch tries to steal me

Your smile,
Your voice,
Your lips,
Your hands
They all help keep away the pain

You keep my mind at rest,
On these cold nights
And fill me with love,
On these days filled with hate
You are the best thing that has ever happened to me

The scars that form webs,
Along my body,
Would be more numerous,
Had you not come along,
And my lungs would be smoke filled

My eyes would be a constant basin,
Home to many tears,
And the bed covers would be stained black
My pain running in streams for the entire world to see,
Laughing demons, smiling at my hurt

Quite simply,
You have saved me,
From the ashes of what was left of me,
You bore a whole new me
You have created a perfect image of what I always wanted to be

Do You Understand Now?

I'm so burned out,
I just want to lay down and forget the world,
But very time I close my eyes,
You're there.

You think I like what I did to myself?
Do you think I enjoyed it?
Because I did

I loved the rush I would get,
The tingle and bitterness,
As my mind tries to decide if it hurts or not

But the feeling I get with you,
Is worth so much more,
Than those little highs

The feeling I get with you,
My darling firefly,
Is a thousand times better

It's not just a temporary release with you,
It's a permanent tingle,
Rushing through my entire body in rivers of love

I can't imagine being without you,
But I can imagine being without that knife
So if this is what I have to do, I will

Forget those rushes,
Forget the pain and punishment,
I just want you,

Because in all the many things in this world,
The only thing I truly love,
Is you

Goodbye

Goodbye my dark passenger,
You have guided me through so much,
Led me down deep paths of evil,
And brought me back to touch,
The hearts of people around me,
Living inside life,
Knowing they won't listen,
But screaming out inside.
Where will this place lead me,
I'm lost without you,
Even if I come back,
I won't be the same.

Maybe it's for the better,
I'm better off without,
The awful things you make me do.
And If I start again,
I know that's where you'll be,
Waiting to welcome me back,
Into your fiery arms of pain

Tired

My eyes are heavy,
And my heart is full,
And my bed is soft and warm
But I can't sleep.
If it weren't for my uncertain future,
I would be so endlessly happy
But they keep bringing it up
Until that seems to be the only thing that matters anymore.
Do they even care that for the first time in years,
I'm truly, honestly happy?
No
They focus on the F
That stupid letter has ruined my life one time too many.
I can't deal with this anymore.

It's
Driving
Me
Insane
And
I'm
Losing
Myself

Please, don't let me disappear

Crash

You realize how ridiculous I'm being?
I haven't seen you in over a year,
But I'm terrified that you're really hurt
You broke my heart,
And here I am,
Hoping desperately that yours is OK
I looked around,
There were clues,
But no straight answers
And I'm scared that you're injured
And I don't want you to be
So please call me,
Or text me or send me a message,
Cause while I was smoking a cigarette,
Drinking a beer and passing the joint to my friend,
You were lying somewhere,
Hurt and alone,
And I feel guilty,
No matter how much you hurt me,
I still feel guilty

Proud

Will you ever be proud of me?
I know you have nothing to be proud of,
I'm sorry for that
You can't even be proud of my sports,
I can't swim anymore, I've let my grades slip too much,
You can't be proud of my writing,
You can't be proud of me,
Because that is all I am
And if that is all I am,
Then you have nothing to be proud of,
And for that,
I am sorry

Mountain of my Design

Where do I go from here?
My life is hanging on an unbalanced string,
My world is teetering on the edge of nothing.
You are my temporary relief,
But all I get from you is confusing beliefs.
Twisted memories of how things should be,
Beauties staring into mirrors,
And reflected back as beasts.
I'm stuck in the middle,
The raper of innocence,
The destroyer of good,
And I'm struggling to climb,
This mountain of my own design.

Inside of Me

Our breaths, erratic and uneven,
Our bodies, straining and sweaty,
Glistening in the soft glow of the moon,
The pain, almost unbearable, breaking into waves of pleasure

The life in our souls when our eyes met,
Connecting with such ferocious love,
The shy glances and faint touches
The soft butterfly wings of your lips

The tears ran down my face,
And even though I hurt,
I didn’t stop
Because all I wanted, was you

To feel you,
To connect with you,
To love you,
To have you inside of me

That is all I wanted. That is what I got.

Firefly

Firefly, shine me a path so bright,
Let me see the light,
In this dark, dark night

Let me feel your hands on me,
Running up and down,
Let me feel oh so free

Take me away with those wings,
And let me feel the soft breeze,
Gentle, gentle, like your lips

Slowly teach me all those ways,
To feel and make feel,
Teach me how to make love to you tonight

I’m ready to take in that light,
I want to be as close to you as possible tonight,
My dear firefly.

Following the Eye of the Storm

I started to cry,
Once more, for the fifth time that night,
And she held me,
And lifted me and looked me straight in the eye,
And asked me if I was cutting
I cried and cried and stained her sweater dark blue,
And she loved me,
And she comforted me

He stood in the lonely room,
And brooded over his own thoughts and feelings,
While the world continued its stormy path,
Leaving a trail of tears behind it,
And he is trying the follow the eye of the storm,
While the rest of us know it will end soon if we just let it pass by
I almost feel guilty for leaving him behind,
But he's a big boy, he will catch up on his own time.

Using Me

You're just using me in this silly game called LIFE
You just need the touch of soft skin,
And gentle hair as it tickles you sides,
And hands caressing you ever so sweetly

You just need a distraction
From your own impossible life
Just a few minutes of normality,
Of pleasure and of the release from the pain

I don't care that your using me,
Because I'm just using you too
And the best part?
You think you're getting away with it

Trying to Help You

I want to help you
You may not deserve it,
You may have rushed me,
Into giving something I did not want to give,
But I still want to help you.

You need to understand what is wrong with you,
You need to understand how much you love her
You can try to forget her all you want,
But you will never stop loving her
She gave you something she can never take back.

I gave you something too.
It wasn't as important but I let you closer than anyone else,
I let you in me
I let you feel me
I let you caress and touch me

And you let me hold you right back
Because I had given you more than anyone else before

You can deny it all you want,
But you love her
And I cannot explain it to you,
Only you can figure that out,
Just like I had to

And maybe, one day, you will forget,
And I will be here

Hear Me, Save Me

No one heard me,
And so I kept weaving,
In and out,
Trying to get lost,
Trying to feel lost,
Trying to lose myself,
Trying to dissapear,
Trying to get someone to want to find me,
But I just kept ending up at the beggining

And my bones turned to dust in the midnight glare of the moon,
And from the dust crawled a new me,
Undefined,
Undiscovered,
With no limits,
And no ties to responsibilty,
And I felt heard,
And I found freedom within myself,
But they kept finding me
And taking it away

I am new,
And young,
And scared of the unknown world that lies waiting,
Mouth wide open,
Coaxing me to fall into its inner bowels,
From which there is no escape
And all the while,
No one can hear my screams